Sunday, January 27, 2013

You Rascal, You

brass 3-eye necklace - c/o Luna Nera // tee - vintage // skirt - thrifted // sunglasses - Miracle Eye // boots - thrifted // jacket - UNIF

Humans are so weird. I finished reading this article on the New York Observer talking about female escorts and the type of men that hire them, and I'm kind of just like, what? Maybe my head has been under a rock for the past few years because I had no idea the escorting business 1) still existed 2) is growing exponentially. I don't really know what my stance is on this because I'm a little confused. I don't know whether it's empowering, but also degrading, and how men can "review" women's performance in bed/how intelligent they are on a website titled The Erotic Review (which is what the article mostly speaks about). It's a somewhat long, but very well-written article, disguising some gross (degrading) parts in academic jargon, but still easy to swallow. I think it's less of the escorting business and more of the reviewing women business that disturbs me. PS the article is titled The Luxury Rental Girlfriend. I think that speaks for itself. Anyways, read it here. Thanks Man Repeller for sharing this your readers! I am now sharing it with my readers. How do you feel about it? Do you think it shouldn't exist? Do you think that websites where men thrive on rating women are a step towards the right direction for us?

Here's a little snippet of the beginning of the article:

"Jack is in his 30s. He’s good-looking, makes money and has a nice apartment, and in this city, what all that gets you is almost everything. He meets me on Greenwich Street one morning for black coffee. Two girls he knows come walking by. He smiles, and his blue eyes are warm, but on one girl’s face you can see that whole wringing week she waited for a call.
Jack can have any girl he wants. A blond event planner who wears heels on Sunday mornings. A former fit model who looks great in Hanes white. A yoga instructor who makes him spicy tempeh wraps with steamed kale on the side. There are girls who make great Bloody Marys and there are good girls who go to church on Sunday with their families, but last night they were at Jack’s. There are girls who ride horses and lawyers and designers and tall ones and short ones, stacking their needs up across his walls and then saying those are not needs, they are shadows.
So why does Jack prefer escorts?"



oh my god amazing hair!!!

MarieAntoinette said...

amazing, so original!
Please, visit me and enter my giveaway ♥

Annarack said...

Such a wicked outfit. You totally rock!!!

aynur A said...

awesome outfit


amanda said...

I love when I see a thought provoking post (though the sunnies are pretty awesome also). On the opposite end of the spectrum, or same end, depending on your vantage, there was an article in the NYT magazine section today discussing the 50th anniversary of 'The Feminine Mystique' interesting comparisons jogging around in my mind.

new follower :)

Zoƫ Kate said...

What concerns me about this article is more that it presents a view of sex work that seems to lack any of the nuance, complexity and variation that are necessarily part of any person's life and work. I worry that, even though it presents a sort of glamourized (and intentionally titillating) picture, it is actually only reinforcing the stigma against sex workers that can make their lives incredibly difficult. Let's not forget that even when sex workers are working in the upper echelons of the business, their work is still criminalized in most places (NYC included) and the intense stigma forced upon them reduces the complexity of their experiences to simplified stereotypes. These stereotypes are dangerous and are part of what justifies criminalization, marginalization and violence against sex workers. As for the review sites, I don't know how I feel about that, what I do know is that I would be interested in hearing what the workers whose lives and livelihoods are impacted by these sites have to say about them, something this article doesn't offer.

On a less intensely political note (sorry, I've done a lot of work on this particular issue in school!) your outfit is awesome! And thanks for sharing such a thought-provoking article!!

L said...

oh so great, your sunglasses are incredibly cool.

AVY said...

Because Jack's an ass?


Audrey ♥ said...

I love your hair!

melina bee said...

Zoe makes some excellent points. I actually have a friend who works as an escort-- and so does her husband. I've also had male acquaintances (not friends) that preferred an escort over the many women they could be dating. They've said that they pay an escort not for the sex, but so she'll leave afterwards.

Ria said...

I want your jacket.

I had a friend who was an escort briefly while living in nyc. She told me after awhile the guys stopped wanting to sleep with her in hopes she'd become their girlfriend. She just wanted to get laid so it was very frustrating for her.

I don't like the idea of men rating women at all. Anyone rating anyone in fact, but especially men. They already have all this privilege and it just seems extra douchey.

jennamariia said...

Oh, I´ve seen this article. I have a lot of opinions about this issue but I try to make this short. This is in no way empowering for women. There are countless reasons why it is degrading.

1. As long as there are these "escorts", men can call us whores and it will be a degrading and very hurtfull thing for a woman to hear. This means that men look down on escorts and there is nothing empowering about the fact that there is a female profession that give men an excuse to look down on all women.

2. In this article they call these actions a "hobby" for these johns. A hobby as if the women where dogs or objects instead of being human beings.

3. When they say they don´t pay for the sex, they pay for them to leave... That is the biggest and the most stupid excuse. It even says in the article that escort is a chance of getting what you want from a woman without giving anything back. He pays so that he can skip the part where he tries to make her like him and skip to the part where he can have sex with her without having to show respect for her, or care about her enjoyment. In this article they compare the "wife in training" (aka a normal woman he could be dating. I think that´s what they are trying to say) and an escort and they refer to an escort as a "rental gf" who only wants to be with him for the night. Hmm that´s interesting isn´t it. Wife is someone you have to wake up next to and a girlfriend is someone you screw at night and forget in the morning, is that so? Also, everytime the writer refers to women who are not escorts he talks about them saying "wife in training" or say that after the first date they will go home to "dream about their wedding". I think the man who thinks this about women is a little bit too in love with himself thinking every woman he takes out wants to marry him. Is it just me? I broke up with a guy ´cause he kissed me in public and another one ´cause he said he had a dream in which we lived together. Also it took my ex-boyfriend forever to make me even consider talking about getting married someday. If he dates girls who dream of their wedding after first date he is seeing the wrong people.

4. Several times in this article they call these johns "men who can have any woman they want". I think it´s also degrading that men think that when they are handsome and succesfull they have this ability to pick any woman from the street, when in fact it´s not even true. Yes, there are women who go after the material things but it´s not fair to think every woman is like this. A self-respecting woman wont be picked by a man who doesn´t emotionally satisfy her needs and respect her. There should be an end for this saying.

5. "What women don’t understand is that with married men, their wives don’t listen like I do anymore" Do the men listen to their wifes like they used to? That´s my question really. It´s never one sided. That is like rolling the fault on the women who stop listening to their men after marriage. It is still cheating and cheating is in no way more acceptable if it´s the man cheating (because "wife doesn´t listen any more").

6. Men want to have a wild night of fun and sex with a woman and not having to see her again. There are women who are ok with this (without payment). Also there are women who want to do this but can´t. And why is that? It is fine for a man to screw around without feelings, a woman does it and she is a slut. After being called slut once you wont want to hear it again. Even this article is discouraging women to have meaningless relationships. Oh the irony.

The writer in this article puts women in two molds; wife in training or an escort. The men interviewed for this article don´t know women (that´s why all they get is escorts) and the women in this article don´t know women either. How sad is that. I guess you can see this article makes my blood boil.

I am so sorry I made this so long!! But you asked HA! :)


Jess ♪ said...

I knew about "escorts" long ago but I had no idea about these websites where men can rate, comment, and grade them. I find it quite offensive and sad that women are being treated like commodities, and that they allow themselves to be treated like an object.

Frocktasia said...

Gorgeous skirt and I love that necklace...x

Paula Harvey said...

Love the pics- the style somehow reminds me of New Orleans, very laid back/rocker-chic! Love it!

Milex said...

Now I really want you to marry me.

GeorginaGoodman said...

LOVE your loook

Check out my latest post

Amy W. Hemmingway said...

I am in love with that tee

Matilda said...

wow your outfits are really cool and inspiring! following ^^

Hoarder Rehab said...

After reading your article about the couple on the bus in Delhi, I'm afraid to read the escort article and won't dwell on the sad state of some parts of the world. Instead I'll thank you for taking the time to take pics of yourself in such inspiring and different fashions! And if you ever find size 5 shoes in the ones you wear, let me know! PS. I found your blog through your etsy shop.